After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
