Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
