I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
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