sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
