I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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