I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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