i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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