He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
