I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
