I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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