Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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