Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Let's get the cat blown out
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
