i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
