distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
