clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
