That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
