awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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