and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You made out with two different species that night
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
