What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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