But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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