You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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