I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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