meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
