she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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