I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
