billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
