Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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