and next time when you feel me up, do it right
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
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