my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I licked your asshole in confidence.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
