I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
We have so much sex to catch up on
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
