i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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