worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
