? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
