There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
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