nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
