Just mADE A PArabola og urine
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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