he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I just gargled with NyQuil
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
