Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
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