I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
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