Your face is a jimmy john
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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