he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
