just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
