her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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