So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
