Already got asked if we're dating
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
apparently the secret to your success is patron
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Randomize
