i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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