everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
