You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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