your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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