Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
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